In any event, 2013 is almost over. That in and of itself is worth talking about, mainly because there was a point in my life when 2013, and the 2000's themselves, was a distant, far off thing that would never actually get here, like the lady from the song "She'll be Comin' Round the Mountain." But now it has come, come and gone, and it doesn't feel like it lasted all that long either.
My point is human beings have an odd relationship with time. We like to think of time moving at a fixed rate, moving forward one second at a time. Monday follows Sunday, autumn follows summer, and overwhelming self-loathing and lethargy because of all the food you ate follows Christmas and other holidays. (Seriously, my stomach grows three sizes like the Grinch's heart this time of year).
But the truth is while time may move at a fixed rate, our perception and experience of it is ever fluctuating. As a child I couldn't wait for the week to be over and for Saturday to get here. Now the week comes and goes so fast I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is. When times are good it's like someone pushed the fast-forward button; when times are difficult everything seems to be in slow motion. Things can be destroyed in seconds and yet it takes lifetimes to build anything worthwhile.
And while we go about our lives, doing jobs, earning (in my case) useless degrees, trying to make something of ourselves in general, we forget this one simple thing. Sooner or later our time is going to run out. Now I am not trying to be morbid, but I am trying to concretize an abstract notion. The second we were born a clock started running. An hourglass was flipped. A finite number of hours and minutes was assigned to each and every one of us. Which in effect makes time the most valuable resource we have, because it is non-renewable. Each second that passes is one that will never return to us. Each day we live we never relive.
And yet for some reason we are obsessed with "killing time." Trying to fill up the hours and minutes with all manner of distractions as though we are waiting for life to give us something, to deliver whatever it is we think we are meant for. This especially true of those of us who have more years ahead of us than behind us. Essentially our attitude is "We have too much time" (which in fact is the most ridiculous sentence anyone could utter, aside from "Math is fun" or "I am a lavender octopus named Reginald." Hey, stranger things.)
And yet we continue in this mindset, not realizing what we are doing. For whenever you choose to do something, anything, whether it's reading a book, talking to someone, completing a shift at work, taking a nap, watching movies or television, you are effectively saying to God and all the universe, "This activity is important enough for me to spend a chunk of my allotted time on, and I understand that I will never get it back but this thing is worth it." Of course most of us don't have this mindset, since frankly it is exhausting. We are not a race of energizer bunnies, we can't go on and on and on. That being said if we were more aware of our limited span of hours on this mortal plane we might be a little more appreciative of it, a little more patient with one another and ourselves.
Alright I'm done philosophizing. Thank you for spending some of your last 2013 moments reading this. Until next time.
